Info by Matt Cole

Placed in a Box

The term ‘placed in a box’ can also be said as ‘put in a box’ and has duel meanings.

  • To be buried in a coffin or
  • To be categorized as a type of person who ….

Both meanings have negative connotations and harm the individual. The person placed in the coffin signifying death and the end for the individual. Observing a similar phrase, when it comes to limiting the individual’s potential, placed in a box comes to mind. This type of categorization limits and stymies the individuals potential, killing their ability for greatness.

This reminds me of the story, expecting fish to run on land. Each individual differs and finding their strengths utilizing those, while improving their weaknesses should be a daily task. Sadly, too often weaknesses are exploited and strengths are envied.

People’s tendency is to categorize. In a recent new study, psychologists found people who are prejudiced have a need to make quick judgments in order to remove ambiguity. This means they feel uneasy if they cannot quickly understand the individual. . When they cannot figure the individual out, it upsets them with confusion or worse feelings of insecurity. Thus rather than try to figure others out they mentally put them into a box.

If they cannot figure you out, they force you into a box. This box is a projection from an insecure, prejudiced individual. It applies a false perception, and they will communicate to others that false perception. Thereby, placing you in a box. Once that perception is accepted, it becomes very difficult to break. Even when proof of the mismatch, an enormous amount of effort is required.

How Do We Break This Box Concept?

Just because someone doesn’t like you on a personal level, doesn’t mean your a bad person.

“It never ceases to amaze me: we all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own.” 

Marcus Aurelius

When we hear someone pushing a projection onto others, and if that is negative on you, it is concerning and hurtful. Rather allowing time and experience to mold a person’s view, too often they accept what is spoken.

Marcus Aurelius conveyed it well. We do tend to apply other’s perception on ourselves, more so than nurture.

I do not believe one can ‘fix it’, rather only time and experience will eventually show truth. The damage done till then, will remain. Unfortunately, if someone sees clearly and still push false narratives, then it is their conscience seared.

“If anyone tells you that a certain person speaks ill of you, do not make excuses about what is said of you but answer, ‘He was ignorant of my other faults, else he would have not mentioned these alone.’” 

 Epictetus

I chuckle with Epictetus because he not only accepts it but also mischievously conveys no-one is perfect. Even those putting others in a box.

The reality is, you cannot control others. You can only control your own actions and reactions. Keep fighting the good fight, and eventually, those around you will see the truth.


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Matt Cole has high regard for knowledge share. He has a desire to share critical thinking and information. With a Masters in Information Technology and a wide array of certifications, while not working full-time, he wishes to knowledge share through providing insight, information organization, and critical thinking skills.

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